More women are climbing the career ladder and assuming positions of responsibility and salaries to match.  No surprise then that there are more woman out there who are earning more than their partners and have ‘better’ jobs.  But how are men reacting to this?  Do they view this as a threat, or are they breathing a sigh of relief that they don’t have to take responsibility all the time?  Or do men find it a turn-off?  We have collected a small range of opinions primarily from men, but also from some women.  But what do you think?

“What is most beautiful in virile men is something feminine;
what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine.”
- Susan Sontag (1933 – )

When we told some women that we were asking men the question “Do you find powerful women a turn-off?”, the single ones, said that that was definitely the case.  There seems to be a pool of 30/40-something women who feel that because they have a good job and have got their life ‘together’ without the help of a man, that men won’t touch them.

But we got a different answer when we asked men.  A lot of men said that they found it attractive.  A typical reply goes like this:

“Turn-off? Not at all – powerful women are exciting, and often sexy. However, successful women can negate this by acting like some men – drinking, swearing, smoking, being aggressive.  However, I know/have known some very successful women who succeed as women – by being considerate and charming – which, after all, are extremely powerful weapons in any setting, including business.”

Another common response is similar to this one:

“Ambition is attractive, and the ability to execute on it even more so. I can’t see how anyone with a solid core is not going to go for power. The problem I’ve heard from many single women in powerful positions is that actually a lot of men turn out quite weak underneath and they have trouble meeting someone who can handle them. I would say most of these women would actually like the man “in charge”. (Powerful men like this too — witness the huge numbers that pay for “dom” prostitutes)”

It’s fair to say that with an issue like this, there does seem to a problem with terminology – is powerful the same as successful?  And what does that mean anyway?  What seems for sure, is that power shouldn’t equal dominance, in other words, men find it attractive for a woman to have a great job and be a strong woman in other aspects of her life, but if she’s bossy and bolshie, then it’s a real turn-off.

There does seem to be a lot of young often single women out there, that think that if they do something for a man, like cook dinner or wash laundry, they are somehow weak and being taken for granted.  Every task, seems to be examined – if I do this for you, what are you going to do for me?  A strict 50/50 approach seems to be taken from the outset of a relationship, which again, men seem to perceive as stroppy, bossy behaviour which they don’t like.

A smart, successful and attractive wife is a valuable asset. Any man would be proud to show off to the world. Many men would like to look for a wife with those qualities. But if subservient to her and absolute control over him is demanded, that would be the real turn-off.